See Me Missing

Don't worry, if you haven't seen the commentated, missing portion of yesterday's post, you can be reassured you weren't the one it was meant for.

Besides that point, is my D for direct and domineering character that obvious? This is exasperating. Direct yes, domineering, may I pause here, okay, maybe yes too. But to say someone has absolute D character, doesn't that make you direct too, Uncle?

I set alarm at 8 am today, hoping to wake up at 8 am but my bed's really the best in this entire whole wide world. I could resist the temption to laze till 9.30 am. I have to be extra hardworking from now.

See me missing from here till the mid-terms are over. I vow and swear.

I love 이동욱. I really do.

薛功灿

Tomorrow is the start of a very challenging week and I am to break through courses and courses of obstacles.

Raj is very nice and gave me some advice

No one here should feel or smell your fear.

Yeah that. And how I wish I can see 薛功灿 everyday on television or on the computer! I love him so much!

/* I erased something from here because the person whom it was meant for has read it. */

It's a mantra thing, let's all recite: 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿 薛功灿

Lee Dong Wook, 이동욱, 李东旭

My session on Ears at Yishun Reading Stars yesterday couldn't be more of a fiasco in my opinion. I sort of couldn't get the attention of those children in the beginning but luckily Yuan Juan came in and helped in calming the children down, much to my relief. After that, I think I can just find a spot to bury my head in. When I asked the children what the fourth simple rule is, Ou Wen volunteered a "Be Polite" which could not be more correct. But my ears were failing me at that point, I heard "People Like" and asked someone else to try. How absurd I sound and everyone must have been wondering why I did that. Seriously! My session is about using your ears and listening for instructions and exactly, just the very opposite I did! And later when Koon Yiak played the telephone sound, Nicole gave the answer, "Door Bell". To think I was momentarily stunned and said very good, correct. Sometimes, my mind just drifts off to nowhere. Luckily my co-facilitators were alert enough to nudge me. Fortunately, the rest of the day was pretty well conducted and I sincerely, thank all who have helped. Spare me the shame, my skin's not as thick TSC's. Phew yesterday!

And Deborah has been telling Jean about me. She has contracted my tell-everyone-about-everyone syndrome. And I have contracted her no-discipline-do-whatever-you-like syndrome. I have also contracted John's lazy-around-and-watch-a-lot-of-television syndrome. Yucks that. It's the mid-term break better known as get-on-your-feet-and-do-work week. So much of catching up to do. I have really to shake those bad habits off lest I will meet doom sooner or later.

And my Mummy can really keep a tag on me. Here's what she did. I had a meeting at Yishun till 11 pm yesterday and reached home only at 12 am. She made an impromptu dinner at 12 am, though it was just bread with cheese and Milo. Then she said I was to sleep because I have to go to 4L's this morning at 9 am. I asked her if I could go online for just half an hour but I think she knows me too well for my own good. She said it was impossible for me to hang online for just half an hour, I would definitely do crap till 3 am. How very true, and she waited for me to brush my teeth and get into bed before she herself turned in.

I cannot be more convinced that my decision to return home next semester is correct. I need this kind of discipline in my life and it really helps. Moreover, staying in school really isn't my cup of tea, I merely wanted to get some away-from-home experience, and given it, I'd rather choose travelling. This may sound ridiculous but hear hear, hostel fees are going up (not as if transport expenses are not). Though hostel fees are covered and paid for and transport is to come from my own pocket, it will still be my preference to travel.

Tabitha taught me a new word today "frolick"

1. To behave playfully and uninhibitedly; romp.
2. To engage in merrymaking, joking, or teasing.

Courtesy of http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/frolick

She is for definite, a different character from her sister, really! And I believe her personality is as if she is the oldest child in the family, ever domineering and wanting her way, and in some sense, I am like that too, except sometimes I know I need to give in and I do, okay.

Wow, so much in a day to think it was a very short day yesterday given that I was only awake for around 12 hours. Yet, I have so much to crap and whine and complain and screw about. I am going to watch My Girl later at 7.30 pm on Channel U because I have a new found target idol, Lee Dong Wook, 이동욱, 李东旭. His chinese name in the show is really unique, 薛功灿. His style is like 2moro's 郭彥均 and I totally love this style! Is anybody going to say that I am 花痴妹? I am, I admit.

Yeah, life's tough as usual, but so long as I can still go ga-ga over these Korean stars I am taking things fine.

All Things Bright and Beautiful

Yesterday, 21 February must be dubbed blessed day, maybe not of the year but at least of these few months since school restarted.

Firstly, academics wise, though I haven't caught up with much of the lagged schoolwork, I managed to work through Mastering Physics, do my critique and CS lab with the help of a lot of benefactors. Really, if not for all these helpful friends, I seriously think I will be very miserable doing things alone. Gregory, Wenxian and Jason for Mastering Physics, Pei Fen and Jason for critique and Jie Hui and Wenxian for CS lab. And Jie Hui for teaching me how to Stack and Link List over bubble tea.

We did something so hilarious today, I mean yesterday. Bharat wanted to pass Nitisha her laptop and cheeked a "Happy Birthday" along with the passing across the seats in LT7 before MLE lecture. Jie Hui heard that it was Nitisha's birthday and decided we should all sing her a birthday song and we really did! In front of everyone and at the end, people were clapping for Nitisha. But guess what, it wasn't Nitisha's birthday at all! Her birthday's 23 August! And we might just decide we'll sing her yet another birthday song after the mid term break in the same lecture again so people will be perplexed how many birthdays she has.

Bharat told me his intriguing story, Three. I would definitely be buying the book if he publishes it or watch the movie if he films it. Really great plot and I think I am more into this kind of stories than the typical-girly type.

I have been coughing and pouring syrup medicine directly into my mouth because I couldn't find my spoon. So my mouth is sort of a measuring cylinder where I used pure approximation to estimate the amount of syrup I need to take. I still have a whole lot of phlegm unextractable.

And I don't want to partake too much in RRQQ squad anymore because it is too time-consuming. Besides, it is almost mission impossible.

I am facilitating Yishun Reading Stars later and am really jittery about it. Hope everything turns out nice and fine and sweet and beautiful.

All things bright and beautiful, ourselves we made them all.

Cheery enough?

Kudos to Me

Goodness holy cow, I must change my style before I flood the world of people. I shall try not to relate negative happenings from now onwards, since they seem to be bringing on some ill repercussions somewhere. Then again, if I were to start being cheery here, the drastic difference from past posts will make me look as if I am suffering from split personality, even though I might just be.

In any case, please stay positive everyone. I will too. Your timely reminder has told me something, past bad stuff is to be forgotten. Really, it ought to be. Even daily bad stuff is to be.

So I am changing again, remember only the good nice things. But sometimes I will still need a place where I can vent some frustration. So bear with me especially in this transition stage.

I am in so many unofficial groups. Guai Gia Committee, Mugger Club (which I certainly did not set up but am the foremost person in it) and maybe Cat Family.

They sound so funny and I am most into Guai Gia Committee. Here are some criteria one must satisfy to be considered into the club.

1. Must be single since day born.

I think that's about all the pre-requisites. It's not a club for left-on-the-shelves singles mind you. It is a congregation of Guai Gias. Highly prestigious in a certain sense.

Now does my new style look cheery enough? At least, I think this is the side most people see me as. I shall invite more people to read my blog and I think I can sustain this tone and attitude.

Kudos to me.

需要冷气吗?

因为以往写的东西太伤感, 太沉重, 让大家都认为我是个悲观的人. 其实事实上, 当我和大家在一起的时候, 是非常愉快的. 尤其是当朋友们互相鼓励, 互相扶持, 互相体谅, 互相容忍时, 我还真的感到很窝心. 在大学教到了很多很好的朋友, 但也交了一些很奇怪的朋友, 最离奇的事, 竟然交了一个不是朋友的"非友". 由于大学的人太杂乱, 事情有很多, 始终无法找到像中学那样纯真的知心好友. 虽然如此, 仍然很感谢, 在我身边的朋友们.

今天, 我突然想起了一个非常好笑的冷笑话, 再此献给大家, 希望你们不会冷到把冷气机关掉. 还有, 在这则笑话后, 我很可能会再陷入不愉快中, 毕竟这是一个让我发泄伤心事的地方. 所以请尽情享受笑话.

Happy Jokes

Q: Is Happy a guy or girl?
A: Happy is a guy because Happy Meal (Happy Male).

Q: What is Happy's last name?
A: Lee because Happily (Happy Lee).

Q: What is Happy's sister's name?
A: Mary because Happily and Merrily (Happy Lee and Mary Lee).

Q: Where does Happy do his shopping?
A: At Lucky Plaza because Happy-go-Lucky.

Q: Where does Happy work? And as what?
A: At a hospital and as a nurse because Happiness (Happy Nurse).

Q: There is a pet in Happy's house but it doesn't belong to Happy. What pet is it and who does it belong to?
A: It's a lamb and it belongs to Happy's sister because Mary had a little lamb.

如果现在你已经被冻僵了, 就说明冷笑话的确达到了目的, 请掌声鼓励鼓励.

And I believe I must be mad to do this, credits to Critical Thinking and Writing, I am citing whom I heard the joke from.

冷笑话的来源: 周伟淞, 2007

还需要冷气吗?

Certainly You Don't Want To Be Certain People

Certain people think it settles by returning the same treatment to others. Certain people think it is fun being better at doing irrelevant things. Though I may at times behave like that too and may at times go overboard, not knowing my limits, at least I can get verbal, visual or physical hints of people getting irritated and pissed. Whereas, I am very sure, some blockheads just simply follow the instructions of others blindly and do things without consulting the brain bestowed to them by their parents. What an injustice they are doing to their parents!

Seemingly interesting, the work I love to engage myself in. Seemingly lazy, the work I procrastinate till the eleventh hour. Seemingly distracted, the work I constantly put off.

And I certainly hope age isn't catching up with me because I thought I brought my handphone charger back to hostel today but apparently I did not. In the end, I have to borrow a charger from U Fong again.

And assignment's due. So I shall go MIA from here till Wednesday.

Before I forget, this Friday's me facilitating at Yishun Reading Stars. What a challenging task coupled with lots of uncertainties. May the Force be with me and May I recover from my bad health and bad mood set by certain people.

Down

I think I am down with something but not sure what.

I think I need something, don't know what either.

Screwed session with screwed emotions. Good night before I start complaining incessantly about the people and their seamless plans.

Correct place but wrong intention. Right location but incorrect timing.

If things are going to be this way, I will go with the flow because it takes two hands to clap.

Depressed All Over Again

I hope, I wish, I pray.

Negative thoughts will away, sighing will dimish in my life, weird emotions will leave me.

Positive perspectives will come to me, rejoicing will fill my life, lovely sentiments will surround me.

I resent, I hate, I loathe.

I am so engulfed in the bad part of my life, I cannot seem to bring myself back to where I should be. I am so disgusted by people and things and ultimately myself, I don't know if the problem actually lies with me. I am so distracted and yet obssessed, I don't belong to where I am supposed to belong. I am so overwhelmed by matters so irrelevant and simple, I cannot place myself on the platform I should be at.

My MSN conversations now do not include the expression "haha", I have refrained from typing it. I can do what I have resolved to do. But in fact, I changed the habit overnight due to a drastic tragedy which happened to me.

Mask, without it, everyone will see the real me. Which goes to say, I am extremely sorry, no one actually knows the true inner me, absolutely no one, hardly even myself, but of course, with the exception of You.

Testing Bilingualism

用华文也会用上瘾. 今天真是个恐怖的一天, 需要完成两项重大使命. 不知道自己的能力能不能达到要求, 更不知道自己会不会在中途放弃, 打退堂鼓.

靠人不如靠己. 这句话用于某些人再对不过, 但用于另一帮好人, 也未必.

祝
友谊节快乐!

It's been a weird feeling for very long. I don't know what to say and what to do. It's just a rotten feeling, a feeling which keeps bothering, keeps pestering and keeps hampering my forward path. I think I am a goner. I seriously have no idea why and how, let alone the what and who DI asks.

Route distorted. A few days ago, I realised my passion in life, my interest and direction. But it seems so uncompatible with whatever I am studying now that sometimes, I wonder if I am too disorientated to do anything about my life now. I was too blinded by the paper chasing, too obssessed with persuing what others expected of me and completely ignored what my heart and brain has been asking me to do. Or rather, to put it in a nicer tone, I was happy to follow what others want of me while I have no idea what I want to do. However, it is a different case now. I am beginning to know what I want and it is rather evident that I have to do something about it. Let me put it this way, I shall work hard on what I have to do now, so that in time to come, I will be able to persue my passion and interest. It seems slightly illogical an argument but I am sure I know what I am rambling about here.

You must trust me and give me Your power because without You, I am nothing. You must not drift off suddenly without a warning again because I need You and Your support. I have faith in You and You must do likewise. I can do it, only with You.

每一次写着写着, 都会很不知觉地变得很伤感. 如果日子一定得和往常不一样, 我就一定得和往常不一样, 用全新的自己面对眼前绊脚的困难, 用内在的力量克服所有的障碍, 用你披荆斩棘, 用自己一直以来都拥有的来打倒自己.

是这样吗? 似乎是吧.

祝
重新出发成功!

期待, 希望. 期待希望.

己所不欲, 勿施于人. 虽然非常了解这句话的含义, 却很难在现实生活中兑现它. 常常把自己不要的东西推给别人, 也经常对别人做出不想发生在自己身上的事. 玩笑开得太过火, 总会惹起别人的不满, 但没有欢笑的世界, 岂不是很枯燥乏味, 很没情趣吗? 自相矛盾的地球在旋转着, 心口不一的我在徘徊着.

也不知道为什么, 大概是脑袋烧坏了, 竟然会如此高估自己, 把自己陷于无法挽救的深渊. 更不知道从几何时, 应该是脑袋加上心都坏了, 把自己推进难以实现的幻想中. 如歌里所写的

世界上那么多人, 只有我, 一个人能拯救自己的快乐
还有
奇怪的是, 地球几亿几千万个人, 我特别想你.

是时候学学汶岘, 该放下的东西就放下, 得关注的东西就关注, 让自己的生活变得是自己的.

说得容易, 做的难. 我会努力, 至少我在这里说我会努力. 到最后结果如何, 我也不知道.

每个星期都会伤心好几次, 忧虑无数次. 这样的日子得过到五月, 不知道中途会不会崩溃.

期待明天会比今天来的快乐, 来的有意义. 期待明天会是令人意想不到的. 希望力量与我同在. 希望你与我同行这条艰辛难走的路. 期待, 希望. 期待希望.

May Is My Style

I am so frustrated and essentially bored to blog twice in a row. And I promised Changi Assembly.

I don't mean to blog about Changi Assembly without first writing something about Xi Zhi Da Er Ji Lang but I haven't been to the latter since the setting up of this blog.

Changi Assembly is fundamentally a congregation of Christians. Lam Lam brought me there for the first time. Though it wasn't my first experience at a church, I still very much look forward to this eye-opener. It is a friendly place where people share their love through prayers and hymms. Okay, and maybe a good place to practise basic translation because they cater to both English- and Mandarin-speaking folks.

May is their style though I have been using this May style for quite a while now. May later be a fulfilling day for me. May you know and think the same way as me. May you just look slightly further than you have always been. May You and I stay focussed and organised.

Rants After Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year and the first of its kind where I visited friends without my parents. Fun to a certain extent though Ms Alicia Goh will be screaming at my "certain extent".

How irritated by the school term and school work piling up. How disgusted at the people who are stepping on others' toes whether knowingly or unknowingly. How depressed by the academia I am facing. How disturbed by people who observe too much and conclude too much.

My new mission has come. Wonder if I will succeed this time. Hope I do. Because things might come my way if I have helped it go others' way.

Time to wake up from those unreal dreams. Yet it is very enticing to continue dreaming. Sometimes, I hope you are dreaming like me too.

It's really interesting investigating why some people just behave a particular way during Chinese New Year and more on a daily basis.

Frustration and anger just aren't enough to explain and describe my emotions now.

And do remind me to blog something about Changi Assembly, after all it was a good experience.

My rants after Chinese New Year will cease the moment I decide I won't try to be funny again.

What Does Zijuan Mean?

What Zijuan Means

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

Courtesy of http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

Pretty accurate in my opinion. Whoever thinks it doesn't really describe me probably doesn't know me well enough.

Thoughts Before Chinese New Year

Lying is a gift which saves people. Your inability to lie sort of got me into some small trouble. I will try all means to avoid this trouble brewed by you. Lying is my way of life. It just keeps me moving. Please, for goodness heaven's sake, don't do a critique on this. White lies can save me a whole load of explanation and ultimately trouble. I am not advocating lying in the purpose of pure deceiving but if lying is for a good cause, why not.

I hate Newton's Third Law which applies to most aspects of life. Even some philosophical thinking belongs there. Should you earn something, you will need to give up another. I earned myself an Ipod Nano but have to lose a hairband to the lift pit. Then again, where is my Ipod? We just cannot have the best of both worlds. And that's how heaven has planned it. Destiny and Fate. They control lives and happennings to such a great extent I do not know what my brain, hands and heart are for.

I am apologetic for things which might have been difficult for you. But the upcoming Chinese New Year is supposed to be fun. If things are not running as well as you've expected, please take it lightly. It's hard to execute things as you want it to be, especially if it involves people.

CS1102C take home lab. I will not get owned by you again. You made me stay up till 5 am and it was a torture. Staying up till 5 am playing games, I don't mind but certainly, C++ Programming is not a game. It will never be. So angry and frustrated that swear words appeared on MSN, really sorry. Anger got the better of me.

It was supposed to be Happy Chinese New Year, I now have qualms about saying that.

Melancholic

Pardon me for saying this.

If life is not going to be the way it has used to be, I really don't know why I am still living it.

Exasperated by CS1102C lab. Screwed up in the head. Illusioned by emotions.

Nothing's gonna happen to me in the meanwhile, just lots and lots of unpleasant thoughts.