Waiting For Lessons

I'm waiting for lesson and scheduling this post to be up at midnight. I actually don't know why, I really don't like to do things with that problem. In fact, I prefer to be alone than with the problem. I always thought some company is better than no company. And the problem has now proven to me that, no, no company is better than being problematic. LOL. I think I am crazy, I feel extremely happy walking alone in KAIST. I am talking about these days when the weather is seemingly better than the winter times. Just taking a slow stroll while waiting for lessons to start or running an errand in the nice cooling surroundings, really, really refreshing.

I will walk and stop and take photos like a foreigner, YES, I am a foreigner. At times I take photos of the same things and places over and over again. Things are changing and different everyday, but one thing is constant, the problem is as FUCKED as ever. LOL.

Just today, the problem apologised after saying something which hurt. This is the time when I am reminded, how about I slap a person and say sorry after that. Things which are done cannot be undone. And sad to say, no amount of effort the problem tries to put in will alleviate the situation. TOO BAD. A FUCKED up problem can never change its spots. LOL, you know what? I feel so glad that the problem is so CUI, and I hope it creates more jokes for me to laugh at everyday. And yeah, I know, it in itself is a FUCKING joke.

숙제가 많지만 계속 블로그를 해요

FUCKED up, very, very, very FUCKED up. I'm FURIOUSLY typing this. One day, it will be payback time. Just it waits, one day, I will give it back the FUCKED-UP-NESS multiplied by 3000 times. KNNBCCB.

My Beloved ______, You Should Go FUCK Off

I don't appreciate insults and accusations, intentional or not. So FUCK off, yes, that FUCKING problem has better to FUCK off from my sight.

LOL, that FUCKING problem should be proud it's made it up my blog, not the first time I'm talking about it but, yeah, this is a dedicated post just for it.

Insulting me in a public place, with no regard whether others can hear, I applaud it. How about this? I can try insulting it here now too! It stinks up the entire place, be it coming from itself, its footwear or its food.

Accusing me of things I've never done or will never do, I will, *clap clap clap, well done* it. How about this? I can try accusing it now! FUCKING dirty and smelly and noisy and irritating problem. LOL, sorry those aren't even accusations, those are facts. LOL!

Whatever!

It's Too Late

For a 21-year-old to rebel. Should have started since 13?

Correction, who's rebelling? Everyone has his/her right to his/her life.

1 000 000 Days Never Blog Already

LOL, very busy! One whole week never eat lunch and dinner at home! Finally Sunday, I can. LOL!

Monday camp, Tuesday badminton, laptop and Zombieland, Wednesday Marina Barrage, Thursday kill zombies, Friday shopping, Saturday airport.

Next week should be better, I hope.

And some person just cannot keep his mouth shut? What's with the spreading of untruths? Mouth itchy?

Halol!

Halol! Long time no blog.

Night out till morning right after exam and successful KTV organised, LOL.

There was a bird on the bus! LOL!

It's the holidays, so stop procrastinating and get things done! I want Forever Friends, 1+ m teddy bear! LOL!

Very tired, feel like sleeping the whole day. I wish I can share all these with you. :)

One more thing, you are a fucked-up person, you don't know how to think for others and how to consider other's emotions. All you care about is yourself. Once more, I tell myself, you are fucked-up. Though you really deserve to be hated, hating a person requires strength and energy, you are so not worth my energy and time. Seriously, go fuck off.

I Thought I Was Inefficient Enough...

But apparently, some people are worse. If you cannot deliver what you're supposed to, at least apologize and not keep thinking you're in the right. Yucks, school sucks.

Korea, I want to go to you but I don't want to go to you. LOL. What talking me.

Insensitive

How do I bring myself to say all this, 21 already, yet has so sense of discretion. You put all your brains into studying, am I not right to say this? Many people see you as having wonderful interpersonal skills, but to me, you've just done one of the worst thing in your life, and sadly to say whether you've the intention or not, to hurt your friend.

How would you feel, if I've done the same to your old flame, J. I'm pretty sure you won't even turn up. Seriously, if you really want to get something more than what you're getting now, I am telling you, you can have IT.

What are you even up to, what's up your sleeves. I've known you not to be like that. And this time, I'm very much disappointed. I hope someone, or anybody, could drill some sense into you.

Whether you've intended it purposely or not, you're just being plain insensitive.

Then yet another you, another insensitive person, stop going around to affect others with your outrageous behaviour. I, standing on the outside of your circle, am already poisoned and disgusted by what I've heard.

Insensitive people around me, could you all think of the feelings of the people whom you care for or the people who care for you before you open your damn mouth or do things?

Gum Pain

Why do I always get this?

It's not correct to rub salt into people's wounds, especially when you've never felt how it is to be like to be inflicted with such injuries. So you keep your comments to yourself and stop irritating me with your nonsense. Yeah, after all, you've always been a weirdo. Why should I even bother to be annoyed. Chey!

Unblocked, unblocked, unblocked. I've become less immature? LOL!

Long Time No See

LOL, who reads this blog anyway.

Just a little update about me and my sad life as a NUS student, LOL. Taking Korean 2 which has lecture from 6 to 8 pm every Monday and Thursday. =S I need to learn to be independent, so says some coursemate of mine, whatever. Am I not independent enough, learning how to eat lunch all alone at the Arts canteen and typing a blog post all alone in the Computer Centre now? Eat your words and stop meddling in my affairs.

Resuming the clutch, brake, accelerator play soon. Like GG#02 says, it's sian to the power of infinity.

Wanting to get a good phone and nice things for myself, LOL, and trying hard to convince myself I need to treat myself better since I'm pretty badly hurt.

Self-healing in the process, thanks everyone for everyday. And running again.

No longer as silly and stupid anymore, trust me.

The year of 2009, freaking year I turn 21. Injured me, made me stand up, taught me life.

Sorry, I don't think you're even worth to be my friend now, so serve you right for being blocked on MSN, blocked on MSN and blocked on Facebook. Just fuck off, and don't let me see you and your fucking face again. DAMNED!

Yes, I HATE people who turn their backs against me after making me think they were my friends. I've been like this since primary school, like it or not.

Will you forgive someone who took a knife, stab it right in you, either accidentally or delibrately, knowingly or unknowingly? I think it'll take me 3 000 years not to hate the person.

어떻게

시디시의 제핏스 아주 시발!

I was at a random bus-stop when I saw James on 59 waving to me, then I realised 영지씨하고 신호씨 were waving too. LOL! Very coincidental. They were on their way to Pulau Ubin.

Must Remember

Scared.

I must remember that company employee is 회사원, coffee table is 탁자, beer is 멕주 and occupation is 직업. Irritating!

U Piss Me Off

I cannot deny that I was very unhappy yesterday at 1.30 pm when some friend accused me and hurled nasty vocab at me.

The worst thing that can ever happen to me is being accused and being scolded at in public when other friends are looking. Seriously, to **** with it. Yeah, in case you're wondering, it's you.

Expired

ARGH UGH GRR! Expired!

Spells Trouble

I want to master Legilimency, so that I don't have to keep asking people if they know what they are doing, so that I know what they are doing tallies with what they are thinking.

I want to master Occlumency, so that I can keep my thoughts to myself, so that I do not reveal a single thing to any other person.

I want to master Levicorpus, so that I can hoist people in the air and make them suspend there as a punishment.

I want to master Expecto Patronum, so that I can be protected by a silvery zebra mist.

Lumos, light up your life like a lightbulb.

Remove the Confundus Charm.

Imperio. Crucio. Avada Kedavra.

Oh, Happy Belated 2009

It's 2009, not Happy 2009, I mean it's Belated 2009, not Happy Belated 2009.

Sleeping loads so that my mind is occupied with dreams and not thoughts.

I dreamt that I scolded people for making lots of noise while I was sleeping. Yeah, I don't like people to make a lot of noise and I don't like the lights on when I am sleeping. And I have a terrible temper if people disturb my sleep.

ROAR. It's complicated, the story of A, B, C and it's time to include a D.

Happy 200th Post?

Happy? If I haven't been here, I would have led a much better life, because I deserve better.

As for now, the camp is of utmost concern. Heck and hell to any other thing, those trivial matters and imbeciles don't deserve a single bit of my attention.

Oh oh oh, maybe I should stop poking my nose into other people's affairs, that'll teach me a lesson or two.

Treat me like dirt and dust and forever giving me those kind of sucky, emo behaviour. All because of a simple, superficial reason that I am uglier. To all the pretty others out there, you are all blessed with an attractive face, lest you'll get all the shit like what I am getting now. Double standards make me puke! Disgusting!

Yeah, go go go, do whatever you want, and feel whatever way you like. You crazy, mad fella. FUCK OFF, I say, YOU CAR-WASHER, FUCK OFF.

More Than Just An Itchy Hand

I have an itchy hand to blog so I am here instead of studying. I just want to discuss why people should not be selfish and here are some reasons.

1. Knowledge is universal and everyone will have access to the knowledge. The only difference is the time taken for each and every one of us to understand the knowledge and to put it to good use. Just like Buddhism, many of us know the existence and teachings of it but some people need more time to comprehend it and apply it. What I would like to say is that knowledge is to be shared. There is no point hogging it to yourself because even if you don't share, others will still be able to access the knowledge via other means. And at the end of the day, what is left is a terrible, selfish image you portray of yourself in front of your friends.

2. Things do not belong to us. People have the misconception that if they pay for certain things or if certain things are given to them, those things belong to them. It sounds logical and correct but how long can you own these things? How can you be so sure that these things will accompany you till eternity? The most obvious answer is that when Fate claims your life, these things no longer belong to you. The laptop, money, coffin you're placed in, house, etc, all these do not belong to you anymore. The word 'belong' is only temporary and virtual. People have to look beyond the superficial days which they would be alive for. Hoarding and hogging to things, this act of selfishness, shows an immaturity of thought. For how long can you hoard and hog? If in the end, those things do not actually belong to you, is there a point to hoard and hog?

3. Karma works both ways. Good begets good and bad begets bad. As simple as that, if you have all along been kind and compassionate, selfless, helpful and willing to share, when you need help in the future, more people will tend to lend a helping hand. But if you have always been selfish and grouchy in offering help, in times of trouble, people may reconsider before helping you. Most people are grateful for the help they've received and they reciprocate accordingly. If you've once helped people, I am sure most people are not that heartless to forget and turn their backs against you when you need help. Should you be selfish since the beginning of time, people will tend to remember the bad you've done and question themselves if it is worthy to help you. It's not that people are revengeful or calculative, it's just that sometimes, bad memories tend to stay with people for a longer time with a stronger impression. That's why it's real hard for a selfish image to fade off.

I guess being selfish may be an intrinsic characteristic of some people and sad to say, most of them being females. Despite the many chances I have given the fishmonger to change her profession, she seems really happy in her rubber boots, scaling the sea bass and weighing the dory. Even treating the fishmonger kindly doesn't hit her conscience or wake her up from her immature, selfish thinking. I really hope to see that one day where I approach the fishmonger and she can proudly put her job down and sincerely help others.

And yes, to the fishmonger's best friend, don't call me a hypocritical person just because I don't tell the fishmonger that she's selfish. If you're such a great friend of hers, you can do the dirty job yourself. It's not as if you don't know she's selfish. Don't accuse me of being fake because I still am on friendly terms with her. It's not as if it's stipulated in my How-To-Choose-Friends manual that selfish people cannot be friends. The only difference is that at least I know how to decipher the sincerity in a person and differentiate them between superficial friends and closer friends yet without them knowing or without spoiling the friendship, no matter how weak it is.

And you know what? Fuck you for thinking so badly of me simply because of superficial reasons like unfavourable looks and worse brains. Fuck you for covering up for your fishmonger friend because of superficial reasons like favourable looks and better brains. You owe me 3000 Mandarin Hotel Buffets.

Fishmonger

I don't know how others feel, to me she is selfish. She doesn't teach in fear you are better. She expects others to teach in fear she's worse. The fact is that she's better, so she's plain selfish. Oh, maybe to me only. Others are entitled to feel whichever way they think she is but at least to me, she is selfish.

Maybe another case of "I don't teach people who are of threat to me" or "I don't see why I should teach you because there won't come a time when I'll get help from you" or "I don't want to teach you simply because you are of the same gender as me and I only teach GUYS". Whichever and whatever. Some girls just cannot get over their little brainless mindsets over guys.

Behaving like a Primary/Secondary school student at University level, shame, utter shame. Yeah, people need courses to upgrade their childish, selfish thinking.

Go to renowned schools, so much for Civics and Moral Education and PCCG, end up as a fishmonger. And if I wait for her long long long long long enough, until I start decomposing, I think she still won't teach.

Talk Never Use Brain

10 pm to 12 noon sleep. Nice.

How many times must I say it's my fault?

I always say people talk without using the brains but I think me too. I sort of hear a question and answer it subconsciously. Maybe there is no brain to process the thoughts at all.

Don't go complaining to others. Go direct to the person. No one likes to hear whining as a daily routine and nobody is an emotional dustbin.

And don't lie in front of a seasoned liar.

You tell me, is who ostracise who?

Aldo and Bryan, I want both of you to join Yishun Camp this December! I miss teaming up with the both of you and rubbing foam into his head!