Fai-Ner-Lee

Ya after 1.5 years. LOL, laugh la, wanna laugh just laugh.

Countdown, 2 months! :) WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

It's Been A Long Time

Since I let my fingers on the keyboard, telling stories to a very public audience. Welcome back to my world, if you're still reading this semi-unconscious blog.

It's been more than 1.5 months since I touched down on this island which I call home. Everything's good, meet-ups, dinners, lunches, craps, work? OK, work. Can't say I don't miss Korea. It was really an experience, despite all my grumbling and complaining.

Now back, reality is reality. Routine life has returned, no more weekend trips. LOL. Used to ask so often, "What are you doing this weekend? Where are you heading to?" Used to answer so often, "We plan to go to this place and that, it will cost this much and we will do this." Gone were the days.

I realised, my last holiday, the one from Dec 09 to Jan 09 was so freaking short and packed with preparation work. And this time, right after returning, I have to work. And and, right after working, I have to study. And and and so, my next and last holiday is from Dec 10 to Jan 10. How pathetically short.

DAMMIT. LOL.

It's Too Late

For a 21-year-old to rebel. Should have started since 13?

Correction, who's rebelling? Everyone has his/her right to his/her life.

My 21st Birthday Again

One day some time ago, I sent my NEW phone for servicing and lost all the 21st birthday messages. Today's my 21st birthday again. Please send me your wishes via SMS. Thank you! LOL! Sorry for all the trouble.

Just now I dreamt I was brushing teeth and there was blood from my teeth, then I went to brush teeth, really got blood. :S

I Bang

Actually I really wonder if I have some problem with motor skills. Or maybe I don't have enough something (don't know what mineral or Vitamin or ?), which makes me always bang into things.

I don't remember always knocking into things so frequently. I think it started this semester. I only hope I don't have some underlying hidden illness behind all these knocking and of course, I hope I don't become stupider than I already am, considering the amount of impact on my skull each time I bang against it.

I secretly blame you for not showing me any concern, resulting in my knocking around and the vicious cycle continues.

New Blog Skin

The old one was removed somehow, and my blog become ugly. So I changed to this new blog skin.

I've been very busy. I don't know what I'm busy with, maybe busy over nothing. LOL.

Is it true that people are more depressed or emo when they are alone than when they are around familiar faces? I don't know the answer. Maybe, maybe. Should we be secretly sad and only share happiness with people?

Smiles, laughter, all nice and sunshine. Who likes to see others sad and upset? Fair weather friends, those who will only be there to share happiness.

Yes, this blog skin, simplity, sometimes that's what we all need. WTF with all these complicated people and matters.

If I had the choice, I'd rather erase all memories, at least I wouldn't know how fucked up my life is because it just isn't as happy as it was like.

생일 축하합니다!

생일 축하합니다!

9월12일이 제 생일입니다. 저는 매우 해복했습니다. 우리 가족는 Cafe Cartel에 점심를 먹었어요. 점심 식사우에 우리 Tampines One에 선물을 샀어요. 제 아빠는 지난 주 토요일에 저한테 휴대폰를 줬어요. 저는 제 엄마한테서 목걸이를 받았어요. 저는 제 세명여동생한테서 팔찌를 받았어요. 저는 모두 사랑해요. ^^

목요일에 저는 친구한테서 첫번 선물 받았어요. 나쁜 씨처 씨는 저에게 장난감 곰을 줬어요. 장난감 곰이 아주 귀여워요. 하지만 저는 키가 큰 장난감 곰이 더 좋아해요! =P 그리고 완핑 씨, 람람 씨와 재클린 씨는 저한테 돈을 줬어요. 저는 가방을 살 거예요.

금요일에 휘리 씨 저한테 예쁜 목걸이 줬어요. 더쵄 씨는 저에게 Bakerzin의케이크를 사 줬어요. 저 케이크는 정말 맛있어요. 그리고 제가 신이 씨와 매이 씨는한테서 장미꽃을 받았어요. 처음 꽃을 받았어요. :)

오늘 친구 같이 쇼핑할 거예요. 우리 친구들을 저한테 드레스를 사고싶을 거예요.

아, 아주 피곤해요. 그래서 여러분 안녕히 주무세요!

Gum Pain

Why do I always get this?

It's not correct to rub salt into people's wounds, especially when you've never felt how it is to be like to be inflicted with such injuries. So you keep your comments to yourself and stop irritating me with your nonsense. Yeah, after all, you've always been a weirdo. Why should I even bother to be annoyed. Chey!

Unblocked, unblocked, unblocked. I've become less immature? LOL!

Long Time No See

LOL, who reads this blog anyway.

Just a little update about me and my sad life as a NUS student, LOL. Taking Korean 2 which has lecture from 6 to 8 pm every Monday and Thursday. =S I need to learn to be independent, so says some coursemate of mine, whatever. Am I not independent enough, learning how to eat lunch all alone at the Arts canteen and typing a blog post all alone in the Computer Centre now? Eat your words and stop meddling in my affairs.

Resuming the clutch, brake, accelerator play soon. Like GG#02 says, it's sian to the power of infinity.

Wanting to get a good phone and nice things for myself, LOL, and trying hard to convince myself I need to treat myself better since I'm pretty badly hurt.

Self-healing in the process, thanks everyone for everyday. And running again.

No longer as silly and stupid anymore, trust me.

The year of 2009, freaking year I turn 21. Injured me, made me stand up, taught me life.

Sorry, I don't think you're even worth to be my friend now, so serve you right for being blocked on MSN, blocked on MSN and blocked on Facebook. Just fuck off, and don't let me see you and your fucking face again. DAMNED!

Yes, I HATE people who turn their backs against me after making me think they were my friends. I've been like this since primary school, like it or not.

Will you forgive someone who took a knife, stab it right in you, either accidentally or delibrately, knowingly or unknowingly? I think it'll take me 3 000 years not to hate the person.

Something Wrong Liao

11:00 AM - Woke up to find door closed and fan spoilt.
11:45 AM - Went out of the house without phone, go back to get it.
12:00 NN - Realised forgot to bring MP4 out.
12:03 PM - Realised MP4 is in bag after all.
12:23 PM - Went past Eunos MRT without alighting.
12:30 PM - Missed bus to CDC.
12:50 PM - Late for lesson, realised it's that instructor AGAIN :@
1:10 PM - Still talking about theory.
2:00 PM - No chance of going out of circuit anymore due to many mistakes.
2:22 PM - Zero stamp again.
2:26 PM - No good slot for 3A.
3:00 PM - After a 20-min walk, 14-min wait, here's my bus.
3:15 PM - Start for T.
4:45 PM - End of T.
5:20 PM - Called back for T.
6:45 PM - Second end for T.
7:20 PM - Home sweet home.

My legs are wobbly and I dropped things. =S Something wrong liao?

Personal Disorder Test

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Spells Trouble

I want to master Legilimency, so that I don't have to keep asking people if they know what they are doing, so that I know what they are doing tallies with what they are thinking.

I want to master Occlumency, so that I can keep my thoughts to myself, so that I do not reveal a single thing to any other person.

I want to master Levicorpus, so that I can hoist people in the air and make them suspend there as a punishment.

I want to master Expecto Patronum, so that I can be protected by a silvery zebra mist.

Lumos, light up your life like a lightbulb.

Remove the Confundus Charm.

Imperio. Crucio. Avada Kedavra.

Oh, Happy Belated 2009

It's 2009, not Happy 2009, I mean it's Belated 2009, not Happy Belated 2009.

Sleeping loads so that my mind is occupied with dreams and not thoughts.

I dreamt that I scolded people for making lots of noise while I was sleeping. Yeah, I don't like people to make a lot of noise and I don't like the lights on when I am sleeping. And I have a terrible temper if people disturb my sleep.

ROAR. It's complicated, the story of A, B, C and it's time to include a D.

Camp Preparation

13/12/2008 8 pm to 14/12/2008 12 noon

If you were trying to get me on MSN during this time, SORRY! I was sleeping! Trust that, 16 hours! I was preparing for 2 sleepless camping nights. And I want it to rain whole day today, in preparation for 2 days of dry, camping weather!

15/12/2008 8 am to 17/12/2008 2 pm

Off to camp! See ya! =D

Hate

I'll ask another person, "Do you hate me?".

I will and I will edit this post to let you know the outcome.
[Edit: Never hate also, yeah!]

Actually, hating a person is tiresome. Be a saint then.

Talk Never Use Brain

10 pm to 12 noon sleep. Nice.

How many times must I say it's my fault?

I always say people talk without using the brains but I think me too. I sort of hear a question and answer it subconsciously. Maybe there is no brain to process the thoughts at all.

Don't go complaining to others. Go direct to the person. No one likes to hear whining as a daily routine and nobody is an emotional dustbin.

And don't lie in front of a seasoned liar.

You tell me, is who ostracise who?

Aldo and Bryan, I want both of you to join Yishun Camp this December! I miss teaming up with the both of you and rubbing foam into his head!

Constantly Tired

Forever wanting to hit the pillows.

Is it possible to block people or appear offline in real life?

OK, still my fault.

There's something wrong with my leg!

There are always some original and interesting jokes and concepts Jac and I can conjure on our MRT journey back from school to home. Today, I shall share a concept about love.

It isn't wrong for a guy to stop coming up with novelty after he has managed to woo a girl. It isn't wrong either for a girl to continuously expect her boyfriend to come up with novelty after they have been together. But it's more correct for them to move on to a higher stage. Just like after taking the O Levels, no one in the right mind will still do the O Levels Ten-Year-Series. Rather, it would be more logical to move on to A Level Ten-Year-Series. If the guy doesn't feel like doing A Level Ten-Year-Series, then he should be prepared that his girlfriend might leave him for a Diploma, Integrated Programme or International Baccalaureate.

Is this analogy good? LOL. Maybe some people fail because they forgot to do higher level Ten-Year-Series.

I Should Be The One

Apologising.
But I am too weak to do so.

Taking the blame.
My pride impedes that.

Admitting the mistake.
Warped thinking makes me right always.

Stopping the tears.
My guilt flows.

Repenting.
Amithabha.

Disappearing.
I think I can.

Removed from this world.
It nearly happened.

Seeking forgiveness.
Who will forgive such a sinner?

Keeping quiet.
My intrudence is disturbing.

I belong to.
No one knows me better than You.

A short poem? A short song? I don't know what that is. MSN Plus allows multiple sign-ins. But always remember to Forget Me.

I Knock You Down, Want Or Not?

Nearly got knocked down by an olive green Mercedes Kompressor just now near the library. It was the green man when this mercedes decided that its brakes cannot work in time, or rather when the cock-eyed driver decided that he didn't want to stop. In any case, fucked-up driver who missed by 10 cm or he would have succeeded in knocking me down.

Terrible drivers. Like I still want my life.

I know I like to lie and act. But what's above is definitely not a tall tale. Let me tell you, don't have to keep wondering, it's true.

曲名: 早安, 晨之美! 歌手: 卢广仲 专辑: 100种生活 词曲: 卢广仲

嘿 吃早餐阿 快点啦 有好多好多早餐在这里 在我们最熟悉的早餐店里 不管你睡的多晚起的多晚 晨之美永远在这里欢迎光临你 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 有好多好多早餐在这里 在我们最熟悉的早餐店里 不管你睡的多晚起的多晚 晨之美永远在这里欢迎光临你 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 有好多好多早餐在这里 在我们最熟悉的早餐店里 不管你睡的多晚起的多晚 晨之美永远在这里欢迎光临你 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 We share the morning We share the milk tea 我一直在这里陪你一起 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊 对啊

Double Standard, Tit-for-Tat

How do I put this message across? Let me try. It's just yet another Zijuan-type of post and the need to write this comes from some things which trigger brains to think harder.

It takes two hands to clap, two mouths for a conversation to hold, two people to think the same way and one's age to begin with the number two for one to start to have a tingling of what this world is about.

I don't know how to put the message across, it just feels so disgusting when people play the double standard game. As a joke, fine. I bet I play the double standard game too, but at least not so obviously and not so blatantly. And my form of discrimination is always harmless.

The way I prioritise things is also very simple. My ranking has never been new friends over old friends. My ranking has never been old friends over family. My ranking has never been money over friends. Take note.

Sometimes, I don't think things are as difficult to understand as most people perceive it. Keep in mind, how you are treating people. Just because the old novelty runs out and new novelty surges in, you play the double standard game. How shallow of you.

Tit-for-Tat game as well. Is this the Economics Game Theory? I reckon no party is better off and there can be no Nash Equilibrium. If a person does something bad to me, I am supposed to take revenge and do the same. How shallow of me.

The next time you do something, make sure the things you do and the words you say are not irritating and pissing people off. If it's a joke, tell people it's a joke.

Or maybe, I should just let it rest and not be bothered about things. I don't really want to care anymore.