Wednesday, July 30, 2008

This Is Revenge

For spoiling my plot, Shockerbolt is going to pay! I have a brand new story made up just for him. Here it goes.

Disclaimer: The author of this blog has no intention of defaming anybody with the following story and all characters are purely fictitious. If you happen to have the same name and feel that any character resembles you too much, then it's your honour to appear my blog! In any case, take it with a light heart and a pinch of salt!

Shockerbolt and his last-rumoured girlfriend was married on the beautiful date of 28/04/08. His wife was carrying their third child at the time of publish. He was smirking (as well all know, Shockerbolt smirks at every single win) at his accomplishment of being able to fulfil his wish of having three kids running around his household. Because Shockerbolt loved simplicity, he named his children Thunderbolt, Firebolt and the last one who was on the way, Simplicity (I told you Shockerbolt loved simplicity).

One day, Shockerbolt was holding a deck of Aladdin poker cards while executing the Sacred Expert Pre-Natal Bridging Course for Floating Bridge. While he explained the bidding rules, the order of suits, the method of playing, he also added some tips on how to play Mind Games (Shockerbolt is always a genius at mind games). Secretly he thought to himself, "My three children plus me make nice bridge kakis. When they get to University, I will make sure they stay overnight in school to play bridge with me!" In case any reader doesn't know, Shockerbolt is now a part-time lecturer for BP6001 (Bridge Playing with Advanced Mind Games) in the University. His full time job is at a technology firm scotch-taping laptops and replacing damaged chargers.

After the pre-natal education, Shockerbolt decided to ask Cwxian out for a drink. Being a friend who was always on the ball, Cwxian brought his wife (whoever has any suggestions for her name, please feel free to tell me) and his son, Kurusamy Chen out to meet Shockerbolt and his family. As usual, Shockerbolt and family drank Milk Tea and Cwxian and family drank Chocolate Milk Tea from Sweetalk. (I wonder if they can remember what the author of this blog, who has painstakingly wrote stories about them, drinks at Sweetalk).

They reminiscenced the good old days when they BULLIED the author of this blog incessantly. Shockerbolt recalled with a smirk (you see, smirk AGAIN), "I remember pushing her off her bicycle when we went to Pasir Ris." Cwxian added with a sinister laugh, "I remember spitting water on her like a Merlion and forcing her to owe me coke." This was exactly how these two brothers treated the kind author of this blog. Readers who all have a heart, please take a stand and fight against campus bullying.

They also fondly recalled how helpful the author of this blog was, always helping to match-make them in fear that they would be spouseless. And for definite, they were truly grateful for her help and would like to continue her legacy since she was busy publishing her Book of Total Rubbish. Hence, the two Daddys decided to betroth Kurusamy to Simplicity. Although Simplicity was not yet born and its gender was unknown, the two kids would still go through marriage vows as it was the intention of their Daddys. They even came up with a name for their grandchild (provided it was a boy-girl combination), Simplysamy.

As the benevolent author of this blog is experiencing some writer's block on how to continue the story, readers are welcome to send in their continuations. Thank you very much.

Monday, July 28, 2008

A Totally Fictitious Post

Disclaimer: This is a totally fictitious post which I wrote at the peak of boredom. It is only a joke, so parties involved, do not get too worked up. Please take a look and feel free to tag your comments.

Cwxian and his first rumoured girlfriend were married on the beautiful date of 14/02/08. They had since led a blissful married life and his wife was carrying their first child. Being a first-time Daddy(We assume he did not have any illegitimate kids for the sake of his reputation), Cwxian was very excited and went around shopping for infant accessories and necessites. First, he headed down to Tekka Mall, Sheng Shiong to take a look at diapers. Much to his horror, diapers these days weren't cheap and in fact they cost a bomb! Without much of a choice, he decided that no matter whether his child was a boy or girl, it (I mean we don't know if we should use 'he' or 'she' so 'it' will do fine) would have to go around without diapers. So people, if you see an infant on the streets showing off its backside, you'll know who's the Daddy.

Then Cwxian moved on to the infant formula milk section to take a look at the price. He was also surprised to see that these tins didn't cost a bomb! In fact, they cost two bombs! Cwxian was extremely astounded by the inflation these days and sighed, "This is more shocking than Shockerbolt. I didn't know milk is so expensive sia." He decided now that his baby would have the best milk in the world from his wife. (As quoted from the horse's mouth with Jeremy as witness). And he was so going to support the campaign because the amount of money saved from not buying formula milk was really worth the while!

Next, Cwxian looked at the baby biscuits which he used to eat when he was an infant (Oh, he still eats them now, I heard). "These are so healthy biscuits! But not very affordable as well. Since I can eat them too, I guess I will buy some. And I like Xiao Man Tou too, I am sure my baby loves these, because it is sure to take after me!" Cwxian thought with fervent enthusiasm. He grabbed a few assortments of baby buscuits and put them in his egg basket.

Subsequently, Cwxian went on to buy milk bottles. And guess what, he bought two of them. One for his baby and one for himself. Everyone knows, milk tastes best from the bottle, right? And Cwxian hasn't kicked the habit of drinking from the bottle since he was born.

Just before Cwxian approached the paying counter, his lovely wife appeared (probably out of thin air because who knows, she might be Apparating from home). He gave her a snog and told her that wasn't the first time shoppers or people snogged in Tekka Mall, Sheng Shiong. He had seen other couples doing that too and was just trying to apply the knowledge he had acquired from the book he had borrowed from Jurong Regional Library entitled "The Art of Kissing - Questions and Answers".

After the shopping, Cwxian drove his wife mad (If you are thinking drove his wife home, think again) because she realised he did not really buy anything useful for their baby. In her fit of anger, she swore that she would take full authority in naming their baby since he did not seem to care a hoot about it.

In the next few hours, Cwxian's wife scuttled around fortune tellers and Fengshui masters and finally came up with the best name she had ever thought of. She decided that she would like to give birth the very day and went ahead to KK Hospital. Let's all welcome Cwxian's newborn baby, Kurusamy Chen (name courtesy of the Great Fengshui Master, Jeremy Gan).

Disclaimer: In real life, cwxian is a nice guy who is still single and available. He knows that whatever that is writtern above is only a joke used as an assignment for the module JT1001 conducted by Professor El. The author of this blog sincerely thanks cwxian and all characters in this story for their participation and magnanimity in letting her use their names.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

百分百변태!

A futile trip down to Creative at Jurong East brings new insights about Wenxian! He is a pervert! Everyone beware! cwxian is 변태! 변태 is 变态! Don't sue me for slander please, but everybody, I am warning you all!

曲名: 百分百 歌手: 郭静 专辑: 下一个天亮 作词: 姚若龙 作曲: 李聪

牵着手买的白色的T-shirt 像约定什么都要一起了 情人节唱歌跨年看烟火 都黏着 第一次为你庆生还记得 你微笑 把烛光 吹灭了 你许的愿望让我落泪了 每个祈祷都为我 喜欢 靠在你胸口 就像躺在棉花田那么暖和 你的耳语仿佛风和云朵 带我飘向天空 你的爱 让我想 作更多的梦 因为有你 让梦想都结成苹果 喜欢 你握着我手 就像合吃棉花糖那么快乐 你的呵护让我像个孩子 无拘无束的疯 真的爱 不用伪装 不用强求 很轻松就会懂 爱的人 看着我 想什么 第一次为你庆生还记得 你微笑 把烛光 吹灭了 你许的愿望让我落泪了 每个祈祷都为我 喜欢 靠在你胸口 就像躺在棉花田那么暖和 你的耳语仿佛风和云朵 带我飘向天空 你的爱 让我想 作更多的梦 因为有你 让梦想都结成苹果 喜欢 你握着我手 就像合吃棉花糖那么快乐 你的呵护让我像个孩子无拘无束的疯 真的爱 不用伪装 不用强求 很轻松就会懂 爱的人 看着我 想什么 Ho Wo 很轻松 就会懂 爱的人 看着我 想什么

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Don't Watch Movies

This is the unprotected version of I Don't Watch Movies. And the content is about the fourth movie I have watched in cinemas to date.

The Dark Knight on 22 July 2008, 8.45 pm, GV Plaza Singapura with Denis, Gregory, Hong Tat, Jeremy, Jie Hui and Wenxian. *Ask not why I am the only girl again. Or maybe, I am not a girl!* I did not know who was Batman, who was the district attorney, who was this and who was that until very much later in the show. I had to ask Gregory perpetually in the show about the roles and characters. Because their slangs are inaudible and the Chinese subtitles went real fast. The Ang-mohs look the same, they do. Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent look alike, unless we're talking about the disfigured Dent at the end of the show. I don't even dare to look at his half-corroded countenence, it's horrid.

It's also hard to tell who knows the true identity of Batman in the show, maybe because I could not catch most of the dialogue.

Somehow I think I do not like bloody or fighting scenes in movies. Fighting with wands seems fine because no or little blood is involved. But machine guns or pistols are noisy. And spears, swords and clubs are bloody. Both movies are so blood-packed and gruesome, choose something less disgusting the next time please. Actually I don't know when will the next movie be.

Thankfully, we all managed to catch the last train home. Lest, we'll be burning another hole paying for cabs.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

EZ-Link

Who has been paying for my EZ-link money? It is me, of course!

But I have another way of putting it, here it goes. Every weekend of the last two semesters, Lam Lam and her uncle have been driving me to school, so they pay a bit of my transport. Then sometimes when I need to get to the MRT station from school, Jie Hui or Gregory will send me, so they pay another bit of my EZ-link money. At times, after tuition, 4L sends me back as well, and she pays me for giving tuition, so she contributes the bulk to my EZ-link card top-ups.

I have finished Hello, My Lady! Great show by Yoon Eun Hye and Li Ji Hoon!

And how much is a pair of ear phones? I want FREE 耳机, Guai Gia #02. Mine's spoilt.

Embark on Lost.

Slowly, it creeps away, it will.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Different Post

This post is going to be different in style and language! Trust me!

i have been going out too many times but have not been getting enough income to sustain such expenses! omg! i m so runnin out of money! okie i shall tell u all more about today's outing. hahahaha.

red round, cwxian, shockerbolt and i ate at tampines ikea for brunch. den we shopped a bit thru ikea while generatin stories along the way. lol. hmm maybe i wanna scold some 三姑六婆 who overheard what i was sayin in ikea. F**K *FF u old aunties! mind your own biz! lol.

okay den a cab to escape, only to realise it was not open! my apologies, people! i oso dinno escape is closed on weekdays of schooling days. luckily the guys were fast enough to come up wif a contingency plan to cycle! so we cycled to pet hotels! it was fun lookin at the dogs n cats n hamsters! red round is so rite is sayin that i may decide to live wif a dog for the rest of my life! i love golden retrievers! buy me one which is taller than me! :P the way back to pasir ris park was terrible! i banged into the railings twice, luckily red round was keepin a safe distance behind me, lest i tink he oso cannot brake in time. the last straw came when i was nearin the bicycle shop, shockerbolt go n lead one way across the grass. i alr such an unstable cyclist, den i follow suit but fell down. argh!!! gt some superficial wounds on hand, elbow, knee n ankle all on the left side! lol! my master hand n leg still intact!

den we went to 7-11. wah cwxian so nice to treat me drink slurpee. took train to city hall, den walk to marina sq. on they way i told so many ppl distorted versions of how i fell, including one that sounds like this. i was ridin on my bike when suddenly shockerbolt came beside and banged into me! i fell off my bike and gt all these bruises! shockerbolt still dare to say i date 4 hunks out. pls loh, date them kena fall down, so SUAY la! tsk tsk! juz now i went to bathe, the wounds touch water is very painful sia.

marina sq's macs can play cards! they wont chase cards out one. den denis n greg n his gf came for dinner at kenny rogers! quarter chicken n potato n coleslaw n arcade! sounds like the arcade is in the dinner. lol! okok so huifang came for arcade n i complained to her how her fellow amk-mate made me fall off the bike but of cuz stories can nv be interesting if i dun add some spice to it. daytona is always fun! den i saw denis play the fightin game. whack players one, in a wrestling ring, seems q fun.

den i v thirsty cuz i go n donate water to red round at pasir ris juz now. so cwxian treat again at 7-11 gulp. after that i q paisay he keep treatin so i treat him eat apple pie at macs agn. this time we played 2 decks of cards cuz we have 8 ppl! so we played bridge n it was really some time since we played bridge together! fun!

home sweet home by 11.20 pm! fun outing!

i want k soon! 下一个天亮, 白色婚礼, 亲爱的那不是爱情, 彩虹, 必点!

This is indeed a different post, as promised. I have great talents in changing styles when talking to different people.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, El Zac Am.
Many happy returns of the day.
May your dreams and wishes come true.
May the Force be with you wheverever you go.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Motorbike

I like riding on the motorbike as a pillion, going at 100 km/h as the wind smacks against me. Today's weather was good for riding as well. It was scorching hot, then rain near bedok area, then further up I could smell the road baking again. One can never smell the road baking or the rain coming if one is in a covered vehicle. I want to try a whole new experience on a motorbike. The rain should come down like it has never rained before. I want to get very drenched and wet and I want to feel the rain hit hard on my hands and legs. Today's rain was far too mild.

Some things are meant to work and some are not. My charger died again. The newly-bought one which didn't seem to be authentic.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Nice Song!

Repeat mode for a night but not tired of it at all.

歌曲: 彩虹 歌手: 周杰伦 专辑: 我很忙 作词: 周杰伦 作曲: 周杰伦

哪里有彩虹告诉我 能不能把我的愿望还给我 为什么天这么安静 所有的云都跑到我这里 有没有口罩一个给我 释怀说了太多就成真不了 也许时间是一种解药 也是我现在正服下的毒药 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着 你的声音这么近我却抱不到 没有地球 太阳还是会绕 没有理由 我也能自己走 你要离开 我知道很简单 你说依赖 是我们的阻碍 就算放开 但能不能别没收我的爱 当作我最后才明白 Rap: 看不见你的笑 要我怎么睡的着 你的声音这么近 我却抱不到 没有地球 太阳还是会绕会绕 没有理由 我也能自己走掉 释怀说了太多 就成真不了 也许时间 是一种解药解药也是我现 在正服下的毒药

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Ethelonter V - The Positive Memories

As promised, there you go. Happy stuff and learning opportunities.

I am glad Mokuze made a difference in the lives of the Councilors and freshies alike. We learnt and grew together. We made friends and bonded just like any other group. For one, I cannot deny I probably have a deeper understanding of how humans work and what kind of character each and every one of us have after this camp.

I now know that a solo-project cannot work. However hard one tries to do everything, one will still need to delegate tasks so that the burden is off-shoulder. It takes charisma to designate jobs to people and people accepting it as part of their responsibility. I am very much on the learning track for this. As seen, people tend to ignore what I say or assign, which is a bother to me as a leader in the team. Also, what I need more is some form of presence to tell people not to treat my words as some passing-by wind. Maybe the fault lies is my being too defensive. I do not open up easily to people, resulting in my lack of high-ness since Day Zero. I mean, don't blame me for my lack of willingness to open up when I already have strong resentment against everything there. It took me real long to realise that as a Key Councilor, I must bring myself forward from Day Zero. All isn't too late, at least I know what I can do the next time I join a camp.

I am also rather surprised an anti-social me can actually teach two of my freshies how to be more sociable. They seem to think life is about books and mugging and even carrying out a conversation can be taught and sculptured by reading. Even Benny also feels they are a pair of weird freshies. Perhaps they really need to know that behaving as themselves and not trying too hard to be different is the way to finding their identities. Have more confidence when speaking and believe in what you can do.

That's all I can recall from the camp, I mean that's all the positive stuff I can recall. If there are more, I shall try to post them.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Ethelonter V Sucks

Because Denis says my freshies might be upset if they see this post, so I have decided to shift it, http://guaigia.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/ethelonter-v-sucks/.