人是这世界上最奇怪的动物。
最近发生的事多了，也扰乱了我的生活。事实和以往的差异太大了。说要闭着双眼，继续和以往一样的关系，谈何容易。根本就没有这样想过，也不懂得如何去面对。可是话说回来，事是不关己，我也不便多说或多问些什么。只是，回想起来，自己的态度和待人处事的方法好像不是很理想。现在，愧疚是有一点，但还是会继续我行我素。
我好像变了，又好像还是同样一个人。被隐瞒了这么久，亏我还可以欣然的接受。是脾气转好了吗?是在外生活的磨练锻炼了我对打击所能承受的制度吗？是这些林林总总，大大小小，琐琐碎碎的事接二连三地发生，教会了我人生中的哲理吗？还是随着一天天的成长，让我也领悟了一些些写做人的道理？
我很想更珍惜身边的人，但有时又很不由自主地埋怨他们。事情发展这个阶段，我的感触还真是良多。悸动，伤感，感激，悲伤，义愤填膺，忧愁，不知所措，何去何从。这些贬义的性情，好在还在我控制中。其实，一直以来，我对自己的感受都拥有很好地掌握。在我知道更多之前，我还得更加努力成为一个更成熟，更有能力承担大事的人。请给我这个力量。
最远的人最近，最近的人却最远。
人真得太奇怪了。
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
A Medley of Events
Things have been happening too quickly to be recorded.
Just yesterday, or was it the day before yesterday considering that it's past twelve midnight now, I went for an eye check up conducted by University Health and Wellness Centre(UHWC) at Yusof Ishak House(YIH). The optometrists have some not-so-good diagnosis of my problematic eyes. My cornea is too thin for Lasik operation which means to say either I go through some Inplantation of Contact Lenses(ICL) or I wait for the technology to improve. I can also wear contacts for the entire rest of my life, I don't mind. Honestly, when I first heard that my cornea is only on average 0.50 mm thick while others' are around 0.55 mm or even 0.60 mm, I was not in the least affected. Unlike the last time when I went for blood donation and the volunteers said that I have insufficient iron in my blood and therefore, am unsuitable to donate my blood. I think the last straw came from this man who chided me for having not enough iron. I mean I was there on a voluntary basis, why is it that I had to be subjected to his scolding? Although it was something that happened some time ago, I was still reminded of this unpleasant first attempt to donate blood whenever I discover something negative about my physical health.
Next up will the Subject Pool Studies which I went for. It was an exercise which examines how people behave under a certain situation. In the experiment I went for, Person A and Person B(me) will share a total of $10. Person A will decide how much to give to Person B and if Person B accepts, Person A will get the remaining amount. On the other hand, if Person B rejects, both of them will not get any money. In this case, we are handling real money. I was offered $1 from Person A, which I did not know was only the administrator until the end of the experiment, and rather obviously, I rejected the money. I needn't explain more for my choice. However, should I have known that the money will return back to the pockets of the administrator, I would have considered harder.
My MNO group surprisingly managed to finish filming our video and complete the editing not only on time but even ahead of schedule! I am indeed extremely proud of our achievement as apparently, many of my other friends do have trouble finishing the filming and editing by the deadline, which is definitely approaching. I must certainly give credit to Brandon who did a whole load of video editing which, for sure, wasn't an easy job. On the whole, I feel that this MNO group which I am in has rather good chemistry and this really helped us in the video making. Of course, minus the sarcasm thrown over by some of the team members. I don't take offense in them because I know they don't mean it, but why is it always me? We have other team members in the group as well. I need some fairness here.
Just now, Transformers went for our weekly exercise regime again. It is supposedly a weekly routine but due to unforseen circumstances, such as lethargy, lack of enthusiasm and all sorts of other excuses, I missed some of the sessions. Nonetheless, today's game of badminton and jogging back to PGP are really good! At least, I managed to work out something. My left elbow and right wrist are really bad. I wonder what happened. In today's session, I realise that people who think that they are on good terms with me tend to speak with me in a condescending, or rather sarcastic, tone, even though most of the time I know they meant it as a joke. Nevertheless, I emphasize the fact that they THINK they are on good terms with me.
My ranting goes on and on, the same goes for my addiction to Warbook.
Just yesterday, or was it the day before yesterday considering that it's past twelve midnight now, I went for an eye check up conducted by University Health and Wellness Centre(UHWC) at Yusof Ishak House(YIH). The optometrists have some not-so-good diagnosis of my problematic eyes. My cornea is too thin for Lasik operation which means to say either I go through some Inplantation of Contact Lenses(ICL) or I wait for the technology to improve. I can also wear contacts for the entire rest of my life, I don't mind. Honestly, when I first heard that my cornea is only on average 0.50 mm thick while others' are around 0.55 mm or even 0.60 mm, I was not in the least affected. Unlike the last time when I went for blood donation and the volunteers said that I have insufficient iron in my blood and therefore, am unsuitable to donate my blood. I think the last straw came from this man who chided me for having not enough iron. I mean I was there on a voluntary basis, why is it that I had to be subjected to his scolding? Although it was something that happened some time ago, I was still reminded of this unpleasant first attempt to donate blood whenever I discover something negative about my physical health.
Next up will the Subject Pool Studies which I went for. It was an exercise which examines how people behave under a certain situation. In the experiment I went for, Person A and Person B(me) will share a total of $10. Person A will decide how much to give to Person B and if Person B accepts, Person A will get the remaining amount. On the other hand, if Person B rejects, both of them will not get any money. In this case, we are handling real money. I was offered $1 from Person A, which I did not know was only the administrator until the end of the experiment, and rather obviously, I rejected the money. I needn't explain more for my choice. However, should I have known that the money will return back to the pockets of the administrator, I would have considered harder.
My MNO group surprisingly managed to finish filming our video and complete the editing not only on time but even ahead of schedule! I am indeed extremely proud of our achievement as apparently, many of my other friends do have trouble finishing the filming and editing by the deadline, which is definitely approaching. I must certainly give credit to Brandon who did a whole load of video editing which, for sure, wasn't an easy job. On the whole, I feel that this MNO group which I am in has rather good chemistry and this really helped us in the video making. Of course, minus the sarcasm thrown over by some of the team members. I don't take offense in them because I know they don't mean it, but why is it always me? We have other team members in the group as well. I need some fairness here.
Just now, Transformers went for our weekly exercise regime again. It is supposedly a weekly routine but due to unforseen circumstances, such as lethargy, lack of enthusiasm and all sorts of other excuses, I missed some of the sessions. Nonetheless, today's game of badminton and jogging back to PGP are really good! At least, I managed to work out something. My left elbow and right wrist are really bad. I wonder what happened. In today's session, I realise that people who think that they are on good terms with me tend to speak with me in a condescending, or rather sarcastic, tone, even though most of the time I know they meant it as a joke. Nevertheless, I emphasize the fact that they THINK they are on good terms with me.
My ranting goes on and on, the same goes for my addiction to Warbook.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Neither Here Nor There
I am nowhere near being a full-time mugger, like Hanzhi and Raj, nor anything like a full-time slacker who can leave everything to the last minute and yet do well for tests and exams. I am just here, thinking far too much about things that I should not be bothered about, opening my mouth when I am better off shutting up and doing irrelevant things which are of no benefit at all. What a sad university life I have, it totally rots to the core, this entire routine I am sticking with.
I learnt something new at Ge Yao today. It was an enriching session for me, really! I am going to write it here as a reference, just in case I forget what was taught today. Okay, I need to consolidate what I heard and remembered. Now, here it goes.
A keyboard consists of black and white keys. The black keys come as a set of 2 then 3. The white keys come as a set of 3 then 4. The white keys are C, D, E, F, G, A, B and the cycle goes on. What we are interested in is to do Pop Progression where we can play chords to accompany a Mandarin Pop song. There are a total of 16 ways to do so in Pop Progression and they all follow the rule:
I(root) VIm(6th minor) IV(4th) V(5th)
I learnt the most basic stuff which is C major and it looks like this:
C D E F G A B
M m m M M m m with a subscript m, meaning minor.
The very first of the 16 includes playing C Major, which is the chords of C Am F G. When playing C, the left hand plays the C note using the last finger and the right plays 3 notes of C using the thumb, middle finger and last finger. The 3 notes are determined in this way.
C -- C E G
D -- D F A
E -- E G B
F -- F A C
G -- G B D
A -- A C E
B -- B D F in fact, just take alternate notes after the left hand note played.
The notes played by the right hand can be permuted. For example, the notes on the right hand for C could be C E G, E G C or G C E. This minimises the gap in between the notes. The left hand note is played on the first count while the right hand notes are played throughout the 4 counts. There can also be variation in the rhythm, tempo and beat, depending on the type of song played. Another way to play notes on the left hand is to include the following notes:
C -- C G C G
D -- D A D A
E -- E B E B
F -- F C F C
G -- G D G D
A -- A E A E
B -- B F B F
The right hand blends in on the first and third notes. Then again, there can be variations according to each song.
Next up will be the time signature which I have always marvelled at as I have no idea what it meant before today. A time signature of 4 4 means 4 counts of 1 beat each in a bar as indicated by the upper 4 and each of the counts is a-quarter of the bar as indicated by the lower 4. That was the best I could make out of the brief introduction to time signature.
I know a little of such stuff, not enough for me to do anything, but enough for me as some basic knowledge. I at times know what I am doing, whether I am procrastinating or not and yet sometimes, I just let time pass. I know I need to get things done but I don't do it. I am always at this cross road.
I am neither here nor there.
I learnt something new at Ge Yao today. It was an enriching session for me, really! I am going to write it here as a reference, just in case I forget what was taught today. Okay, I need to consolidate what I heard and remembered. Now, here it goes.
A keyboard consists of black and white keys. The black keys come as a set of 2 then 3. The white keys come as a set of 3 then 4. The white keys are C, D, E, F, G, A, B and the cycle goes on. What we are interested in is to do Pop Progression where we can play chords to accompany a Mandarin Pop song. There are a total of 16 ways to do so in Pop Progression and they all follow the rule:
I(root) VIm(6th minor) IV(4th) V(5th)
I learnt the most basic stuff which is C major and it looks like this:
C D E F G A B
M m m M M m m with a subscript m, meaning minor.
The very first of the 16 includes playing C Major, which is the chords of C Am F G. When playing C, the left hand plays the C note using the last finger and the right plays 3 notes of C using the thumb, middle finger and last finger. The 3 notes are determined in this way.
C -- C E G
D -- D F A
E -- E G B
F -- F A C
G -- G B D
A -- A C E
B -- B D F in fact, just take alternate notes after the left hand note played.
The notes played by the right hand can be permuted. For example, the notes on the right hand for C could be C E G, E G C or G C E. This minimises the gap in between the notes. The left hand note is played on the first count while the right hand notes are played throughout the 4 counts. There can also be variation in the rhythm, tempo and beat, depending on the type of song played. Another way to play notes on the left hand is to include the following notes:
C -- C G C G
D -- D A D A
E -- E B E B
F -- F C F C
G -- G D G D
A -- A E A E
B -- B F B F
The right hand blends in on the first and third notes. Then again, there can be variations according to each song.
Next up will be the time signature which I have always marvelled at as I have no idea what it meant before today. A time signature of 4 4 means 4 counts of 1 beat each in a bar as indicated by the upper 4 and each of the counts is a-quarter of the bar as indicated by the lower 4. That was the best I could make out of the brief introduction to time signature.
I know a little of such stuff, not enough for me to do anything, but enough for me as some basic knowledge. I at times know what I am doing, whether I am procrastinating or not and yet sometimes, I just let time pass. I know I need to get things done but I don't do it. I am always at this cross road.
I am neither here nor there.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Evolving
It's 2.33 am and I have absolutely no idea why I am here at this freaky time of the night. Apparently university life has turned me into an nocturnal animal. I have loads and loads of uncompleted tutorials and honestly speaking, I have slept in more lectures here than the accumulated amount throughout my 2 years in TJ. Even when I am not sleeping, my mind will be drifting somewhere else, thinking about all sorts of junk which is definitely irrelevant to the lecture. I am evolving into a lazy, noctornal animal and this is partly due to the lack of self-discipline. I believe someone must knock some sense into me. I don't want to sink further in. I reckon this mid-terms was a disastrous catastrophe for me. I don't know why, but I had this feeling I wasn't studying for myself, rather for some other reason. I knew I sucumbed to the unnecessary stress which I had put on myself for MA 1505 mid-term test.
I didn't know Heaven's bestow would be my source of stress. Now I don't know if I had made the right choice. Word of mouth is scary. I wonder how it started. People are getting to know the source of my stress. I swear I did not say a thing to these people. Many sighs, university life is not a breeze, as quoted from some seniors, at all.
After ranting, I have better to remind myself of the funny stuff that have been happening in school. I met more weird people over here at NUS than in my entire life before this added up! The things they do range from making random calls to asking weird questions to doing weird things that normal people don't do and having weird appearances. I find them funny when they make a joke out of themselves. I believe they are doing all this because they feel the lack of humour on campus. Kudos to them if they are weird in the hilarious way. However, it seems that not all the weirdos are joke-contributers. There are some people who are just so different and put others off by their abnormality. I choose to brush off encounters with these people, I mean, I do not want my day to be ruined by unhappy events.
It has been a roller-coaster ride, the past 2 months in university. I have not really gotten used to it but I will try harder. May the Force be with me to help me overcome all the crap, obstacles and hurdles lying ahead of me.
Good night and good morning.
I didn't know Heaven's bestow would be my source of stress. Now I don't know if I had made the right choice. Word of mouth is scary. I wonder how it started. People are getting to know the source of my stress. I swear I did not say a thing to these people. Many sighs, university life is not a breeze, as quoted from some seniors, at all.
After ranting, I have better to remind myself of the funny stuff that have been happening in school. I met more weird people over here at NUS than in my entire life before this added up! The things they do range from making random calls to asking weird questions to doing weird things that normal people don't do and having weird appearances. I find them funny when they make a joke out of themselves. I believe they are doing all this because they feel the lack of humour on campus. Kudos to them if they are weird in the hilarious way. However, it seems that not all the weirdos are joke-contributers. There are some people who are just so different and put others off by their abnormality. I choose to brush off encounters with these people, I mean, I do not want my day to be ruined by unhappy events.
It has been a roller-coaster ride, the past 2 months in university. I have not really gotten used to it but I will try harder. May the Force be with me to help me overcome all the crap, obstacles and hurdles lying ahead of me.
Good night and good morning.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
美丽的完结篇
天下无不散之筵席.
今天,我终于领悟到这句话当中的含义.今天是我最后一次给千诗和千光补习.其实,一开始我还以为自己能够兼控学业和教补习,所以才答应教4L的孩子.可是,大学开课后,属于自己的时间渐渐少了许多,更不用说陪家人朋友的时光.的确,每个人一天都拥有24个小时,说来说去也不就是如何安排而已.但,我自知能力有限,因此,今天,我为我教补习的生涯画上了美丽的完结篇.
到了4L的家,我把要送给他们的再见礼递给了千诗.她一脸茫然,根本不想收下礼物.到后来,千平也跟着进来,连连把礼物推还给我.我再三解释说这只是我的一点小小心意,请他们笑纳,他们就是不肯.直到4L回到家后,经过一番推推拉拉,我才终于把那包装满不太贵的零食完完整整的送出去.再后来,我帮千光复习了他的功课一遍,我想他大概不知道那是我为他最后一次补习吧.
4L很客气,拿了一些小礼物当做是礼尚往来,也送了我一个关于成功的海报.她还特地开车送我回家,虽然我知道根本都不顺路.离开那栋公寓的时候,还真的有些依依不舍.想到这很有可能是我最后一次踏上这道通往4L家的路,又加上车上播着伤感的歌,让我顿时有种说不出的感觉.我想,原来打从一开始,我就已经对那里的人和事产生了微妙的感情,现在说要离开,心里还真不是滋味.
一路上,4L跟我说了很多关于TJ和大学生涯的事.不知道是不是因为这是我最后一次听她这样跟我说话,感觉上,我更用心去听了.到了家楼下,4L说了一句令我永生难忘的话:"欢迎你随时回来教补习,我们家大门永远开着."一鼓莫名的悸动涌上心头,突然觉得其实一直以来,4L都对我和以前班上的同学很好,只是我们身在福中不知福,从来没有真正珍惜她的好.现在知道了,也不算迟,至少我希望在不久的将来还可以和他们保持联系.
说再见总是很难,旦愿会有再见哪怕只是那么一次.
天下无不散之筵席.
今天,我终于领悟到这句话当中的含义.今天是我最后一次给千诗和千光补习.其实,一开始我还以为自己能够兼控学业和教补习,所以才答应教4L的孩子.可是,大学开课后,属于自己的时间渐渐少了许多,更不用说陪家人朋友的时光.的确,每个人一天都拥有24个小时,说来说去也不就是如何安排而已.但,我自知能力有限,因此,今天,我为我教补习的生涯画上了美丽的完结篇.
到了4L的家,我把要送给他们的再见礼递给了千诗.她一脸茫然,根本不想收下礼物.到后来,千平也跟着进来,连连把礼物推还给我.我再三解释说这只是我的一点小小心意,请他们笑纳,他们就是不肯.直到4L回到家后,经过一番推推拉拉,我才终于把那包装满不太贵的零食完完整整的送出去.再后来,我帮千光复习了他的功课一遍,我想他大概不知道那是我为他最后一次补习吧.
4L很客气,拿了一些小礼物当做是礼尚往来,也送了我一个关于成功的海报.她还特地开车送我回家,虽然我知道根本都不顺路.离开那栋公寓的时候,还真的有些依依不舍.想到这很有可能是我最后一次踏上这道通往4L家的路,又加上车上播着伤感的歌,让我顿时有种说不出的感觉.我想,原来打从一开始,我就已经对那里的人和事产生了微妙的感情,现在说要离开,心里还真不是滋味.
一路上,4L跟我说了很多关于TJ和大学生涯的事.不知道是不是因为这是我最后一次听她这样跟我说话,感觉上,我更用心去听了.到了家楼下,4L说了一句令我永生难忘的话:"欢迎你随时回来教补习,我们家大门永远开着."一鼓莫名的悸动涌上心头,突然觉得其实一直以来,4L都对我和以前班上的同学很好,只是我们身在福中不知福,从来没有真正珍惜她的好.现在知道了,也不算迟,至少我希望在不久的将来还可以和他们保持联系.
说再见总是很难,旦愿会有再见哪怕只是那么一次.
天下无不散之筵席.
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